Heart Joburg: Harare Interlude 4: The Cocoa Tree

Gracious.

It's been far too long since I last posted. In my defence: general business. But no real defence.

Just a couple more of the Harare posts to go, and then I can get back to talking about Joburg, and more specifically, Franco's - which is my new favourite dining destination.

So the Cocoa Tree in Harare. The Cocoa Tree is a belgian chocolate shop. You go in, and the place smells like a honeyed Aztec temple, with a nutty overlay and a dark cocoa edge. Is it awesome? Well - it certainly used to be.

Whenever I brought back friends from University to visit and go fish on Kariba, the Harare layover always included a visit for hot chocolate. Because the place is magnificent - mad layout with crazy hiding places and nooks and plants randomly sprouting from picture frames set in the red-brick walls. Clearly, they were aiming for an Alice Through the Looking Glass effect - because it sometimes feels like there's a caterpillar round the corner with a hookah pipe.

The Looking Glass

And that's just the back of the Village Walk. When you go round the front, the nursery gardens swirl around tumbling waterfalls and bridges over koi ponds. Provided that there's electricity, the air is alive with the tinkle and bubble of water - and it suddenly feels easier to be zen about life and love and chocolate - like you're living a passage from a Joanne Harris book.

The koi

Foliage

Into this happy environment, I sat down for lunch with my mother. And typically, I made my first observation. The place may smell like a chocolate-hazelnut orchard, but the chairs are bloody uncomfortable. Like this, for instance:

The seating

I ask you, with tears in my eyes, where are your legs supposed to go? Not under the table - that's for sure. Or, like Alice, I'm meant to eat a magic mushroom to make me smaller. Which is a good point - next time, I shall ask.

And then, the waiter arrived with the menu. The conversation went like this:

Me: Do you have your soups?

Waiter: No

Me: Salads?

Waiter: No

Me: Quiche?

Waiter: Aah - just the bacon one.

Me: Muffins?

Waiter: Aah - just the bacon ones.

Me: What if I want to be vegetarian today?

Waiter: Aish - you can have a toasted sung-wedge.

Me: A what?

Waiter: A toasted cheese sung-wedge.

Me: What about the chicken liver bruschetta?

Waiter: Yah - we have it. But there's no bruschetta, so we just do it with bread.

Me: As in, sliced white bread?

Waiter: Yah - we just put the bread, and then we put the chicken liver shua.

Me: Mother - I'm not eating.

Mother: Do you have scones?

Waiter: We do.

Mother: I'll have a scone then. Thanks, my friend!

waiter wonders off

Me: Well he's certainly not my friend - that's for shua.

So not a truly auspicious start then. They also didn't have croissants (surprise). My mother then offered to cancel the order to leave - but I'd already ordered a praline milkshake and I wasn't about to give up on it just then.

Enter: the praline milkshake.